Day 4 at Hippocrates: [Someone Else's] Electromagnetic Therapy
All one-week guests at Hippocrates receive three electromagnetic therapy sessions.
I should be able to explain what electromagnetic therapy is and what it is for, but the reality is, I really have no idea. I just went to the Oasis Center at the prescribed times because I was told to. I lied down on a bed, and they slapped some electrodes on my feet and legs, and turned up the current. I think it's supposed to wake up your muscles somehow, and release congestion and toxins, or something like that. Anyway, it doesn't hurt, but it wasn't pleasant, either. It felt like someone was lightly shocking my feet, and like tiny elves were jumping up and down on my quadriceps.
After lying there for half an hour, the practitioner, Patty, comes back and turns off the current, and detaches me from the machine.
"OK, Denise, all done!"
"Um, Diane."
"What?"
"Diane. My name's Diane. My sister's name is Denise."
"Oh, my goodness. I thought you were Denise. I was giving you Denise's treatment."
You see, this is what I get for submitting to a therapy and not really understanding what I'm there for. They had interviewed me a day or two prior to find out what injuries I had in the past or if I suffered from pain. I told them about the chronic neck pain I have due to a minor sprain from my Capoeira years, and they noted that. So Patty was supposed to strap the electrodes to my neck, back and shoulders. Instead, she put them on my legs, because my sister has suffered multiple injuries to both her ankles.
Patty seemed to think this oversight was partially my fault. "Well, why didn't you SAY anything? Why didn't you tell me to put the electrodes on your neck?"
"Um, because you're supposed to know what you're doing? I have no idea what's going on. This is all new to me."
So now my calves are feeling a bit zippier than before, even if my neck feels the same.
Aside from that, I spent most of my day by the pools. They have four ozonated pools (treated with mineral salts, not chlorine), each one of different temperatures. One is a jetted hot tub, and the pool next to it has cold water. One is supposed to heat up in the hot tub, and then plunge into the cold pool, and then go back again, seven times. Something about being good for the circulation or something. Again, I'm a little foggy on the physiological details. But I tried it, and it felt good. I also tried the infrared-sauna-to-cold-shower switch, which has the same effect. My skin is absolutely glowing today.
I should be able to explain what electromagnetic therapy is and what it is for, but the reality is, I really have no idea. I just went to the Oasis Center at the prescribed times because I was told to. I lied down on a bed, and they slapped some electrodes on my feet and legs, and turned up the current. I think it's supposed to wake up your muscles somehow, and release congestion and toxins, or something like that. Anyway, it doesn't hurt, but it wasn't pleasant, either. It felt like someone was lightly shocking my feet, and like tiny elves were jumping up and down on my quadriceps.
After lying there for half an hour, the practitioner, Patty, comes back and turns off the current, and detaches me from the machine.
"OK, Denise, all done!"
"Um, Diane."
"What?"
"Diane. My name's Diane. My sister's name is Denise."
"Oh, my goodness. I thought you were Denise. I was giving you Denise's treatment."
You see, this is what I get for submitting to a therapy and not really understanding what I'm there for. They had interviewed me a day or two prior to find out what injuries I had in the past or if I suffered from pain. I told them about the chronic neck pain I have due to a minor sprain from my Capoeira years, and they noted that. So Patty was supposed to strap the electrodes to my neck, back and shoulders. Instead, she put them on my legs, because my sister has suffered multiple injuries to both her ankles.
Patty seemed to think this oversight was partially my fault. "Well, why didn't you SAY anything? Why didn't you tell me to put the electrodes on your neck?"
"Um, because you're supposed to know what you're doing? I have no idea what's going on. This is all new to me."
So now my calves are feeling a bit zippier than before, even if my neck feels the same.
Aside from that, I spent most of my day by the pools. They have four ozonated pools (treated with mineral salts, not chlorine), each one of different temperatures. One is a jetted hot tub, and the pool next to it has cold water. One is supposed to heat up in the hot tub, and then plunge into the cold pool, and then go back again, seven times. Something about being good for the circulation or something. Again, I'm a little foggy on the physiological details. But I tried it, and it felt good. I also tried the infrared-sauna-to-cold-shower switch, which has the same effect. My skin is absolutely glowing today.
posted by Clown Hair at
1:22 PM
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