Day 2 (Again) in Brussels: Big Fears – Here’s a List
Over the years, I’ve come to realize that there are many fears from which I suffer, and when I spend a decent amount of time walking around a strange city far away from home, they crystallize into a running list of which I am becoming acutely aware, and I figure now’s as good a time as any to just write ‘em down, as they usually interfere a bit with my ability to enjoy my sojourns abroad, and this trip is no exception.
The minute I get back to New York, I’ll find a good behavioral therapist (a better outlet for this list, but no one but my friends read this blog, and anyone else who might happen upon it shouldn’t care), as any proper New Yorker would.
OK, here it is:
1. Fear of not being in control. There are a lot of corollary fears which hang off of this one gigantic fear, including, but not limited to:
o Fear of being lost
o Fear of depending on others
o Fear of getting sick or being in any way frail, and fear of dying (or process thereof)
o Fear of not having enough money to take care of myself
o Fear of disorganization
o Fear of not understanding what other people are saying and/or thinking, or pissing them off inadvertently
o Fear of being late
o Fear of anyone depending on me and, in turn, disappointing or somehow failing them
o Fear of leaving my apartment or hotel room (This last one is a doozy, I know, but I think I inherited it, along with most of my introverted, particular personality, from my deceased father. I manage to pretend it’s not there, and go out anyway, but sometimes it takes me an hour or two most days, including today, to convince myself.)
2. Fear of public toilets
3. Fear of bad food. A corollary fear hanging off this one includes the fear of being disappointed. Or, is it the other way around?
4. Fear of people who, um….well…just fear of people in general
5. Wait, what was that last one about, again? Fear of whom? What?
Oh, nevermind. I don’t fear people. In fact, I don’t really have a list of fears.
I really like Mark Haddon’s latest novel, A Spot of Bother. I think I’ll go finish reading that now.
I hope breakfast tomorrow is edible, and the meetings are good.
The minute I get back to New York, I’ll find a good behavioral therapist (a better outlet for this list, but no one but my friends read this blog, and anyone else who might happen upon it shouldn’t care), as any proper New Yorker would.
OK, here it is:
1. Fear of not being in control. There are a lot of corollary fears which hang off of this one gigantic fear, including, but not limited to:
o Fear of being lost
o Fear of depending on others
o Fear of getting sick or being in any way frail, and fear of dying (or process thereof)
o Fear of not having enough money to take care of myself
o Fear of disorganization
o Fear of not understanding what other people are saying and/or thinking, or pissing them off inadvertently
o Fear of being late
o Fear of anyone depending on me and, in turn, disappointing or somehow failing them
o Fear of leaving my apartment or hotel room (This last one is a doozy, I know, but I think I inherited it, along with most of my introverted, particular personality, from my deceased father. I manage to pretend it’s not there, and go out anyway, but sometimes it takes me an hour or two most days, including today, to convince myself.)
2. Fear of public toilets
3. Fear of bad food. A corollary fear hanging off this one includes the fear of being disappointed. Or, is it the other way around?
4. Fear of people who, um….well…just fear of people in general
5. Wait, what was that last one about, again? Fear of whom? What?
Oh, nevermind. I don’t fear people. In fact, I don’t really have a list of fears.
I really like Mark Haddon’s latest novel, A Spot of Bother. I think I’ll go finish reading that now.
I hope breakfast tomorrow is edible, and the meetings are good.
posted by Clown Hair at
2:22 PM
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